Life Pro Coaching

Warning, this column could be life changing.

Before you go into a very deep philosophical mood, make sure you have your new year’s resolutions formulated, and your goals written down.
You can start then on the serendipitous path of goal achieving, which will soon enough be spiked with the ‘Whys’ along the journey. Such questions, realistically, never end with a simple “because that’s the way it is.”

The ‘Whys’ in life make sure you know why you’re doing something. Everything you do demands it, and when you don’t know it at the time you’re doing it, you’ll know it soon enough. Right here, at the YES YOU CAN DO IT! Club, each member can fill books with such ‘Whys’. ‘Whys’ demand emotional work and historical archiving. There is never enough time to explain it all until there is no more want. So, the thing really is that you need to know when it’s ok to ask the “why” question and how you use it.

“Why” questions make sense of events.

When you’re about to leap with full force forward into the future it usually won’t help much to look back. It’s ok to take inventory, trace back events, reminisce and generate the happy feelings you felt along the way. And it’s true, we all ask such questions because we want to understand what happened when something happened which demanded this “why” question to make sense of events. When you add sense to your existence, and when you make your mind work overtime to find reasons, be reminded that you best keep a big bottle of water ready; not vodka. To drink enough and take deep and conscious breaths of air will make you feel that you’re alive. Nothing of bad past experiences has managed to bring you to a stop, nothing can hold you back now from making things happen in the future. Why not designate the year 2008 as your personal breakthrough?

Don’t hold your breath (this could be dangerous), but exhale on the positive affirmation “Yes! YOU CAN DO IT!” This “IT” you just affirmed may be a manageable goal, but it could also be a big and scary one. Be equally as conscious of the fact that you’ll observe how the oxygen fills your lungs, and through and through spreads via the blood vessels into each extremity of your body, imagine that you’re completely at peace with yourself, your goals, and you sit back and envision it already accomplished.
Each H2O or O2 molecule brings fuel to your body. What is the fuel for your goals? It’s the whys you attach to your goals. Those motivating factors help you accelerate and persevere. This is when I truly invite you to think a lot about the why of what you’re doing. It gives steam to your engine.

Is it always useful to ask “Why” questions?

When you start to ask “Why did something go wrong?” it might be useful because it can help you find new ways to improve your approach. While such “whys” can give you powerful new resolve for continuing, they can also turn into dangerous thought-loops.

When you realize that you’re about to end up being stuck in a rut you need a powerful process to avoid the downward spirals. The danger is that you might not even realize that you are on such a downward spiral, and may not see that you have a choice to think of other things; things that are empowering and give you good feelings that carry you through the tough moments. It’s a good idea to practice the L.O.V.E. process regularly as part of your mental hygiene to let even these difficult ‘Whys’ take you to the next level. Rather than letting them drag you down, you allow them in, and you release them.

The L.O.V.E. Process

The purpose of this process is shifting your attention away from the problem and towards what you wish to achieve. There are 4 stages all have “whys” attached to the purpose of the stage.

L — Letting go of anything hurtful in the past.

Why? It focuses on what you don’t want and holds you back, and possibly attracts more of what you don’t want.

O — Opening up to new experiences.

Why? It makes you focus on the future rather than the past, helps focus on what you want in your life rather than what you don’t want.

V — Victory/vindication.

Why? You give supporting evidence of your ability to create your reality now.

E — Emerging beyond your comfort zone.
Why? Because you don’t want to be the fat frog who gets boiled in his own pond water. You want to emerge, and yump right out of it when you realize that the temperatures are unbearably hot and realize that all you need to do is change.”
This L.O.V.E. process is a mindset-shaping process. It helps you adopt a state of mind that conquers thoughts that would drain you of energy, hold you back, and keep you from achieving your goals. It reminds you of your priorities, your responsibility, of taking charge of the situation by taking action. It reminds you of the fact that the past has no power over your future. The moment in which you go through this process you realize the potential of how much you can contribute to change your future, and create it. On this basis you can take new actions, which are healthy and lead to clarity of mind, and the outcome you wish to obtain.

As simple as it may sound, neither stage is easy. It demands your full collaboration and has a pretty life-changing effect, internally as well as externally.

Do you feel you can use some L.O.V.E.? Your reactions are appreciated, just send me a message and I’ll be answering questions in my next column.